The Savvy Bride

A wedding celebrates two people partnering for life. Yet at nearly every wedding, the spotlight falls on just one person: the bride. There’s no moment quite as anticipated — by the bride herself, her groom, and all in attendance — than the one when she first appears at the ceremony entrance and makes that long walk down the aisle. Some brides revel in this attention; for others, the scrutiny is a source of endless anxiety. Wherever you fall on that scale, the probable result is that a great deal of your wedding planning thought and energy will go into making one key decision: picking your wedding gown.

Only about 30% of brides borrow or rent a gown, wear a dress that has been handed down through the family, or wear one that has been sewn for them. That means the vast majority of you — approximately 70% — will purchase a wedding gown, usually through a bridal boutique. For most of you, your wedding gown will be the most expensive piece of apparel you ever wear. And yet you’ll wear it for only one day. It’s no surprise that you demand something really special, and that choosing a dress is such a momentous decision.

You want to find the perfect dress. We’re here to help you find it without blowing your budget. Here are some tips that will make you a savvy bridal gown shopper:

Try to filter out the emotional baggage that might cause you to make a bad decision.
If you are like most brides, your childhood fantasies were aswirl with sumptuous ballgowns, bejeweled tiaras, and miles of tulle. Reality check: those impossibly gorgeous gowns were never constructed of costly silk or lace, but rather the far less expensive pen and ink of Disney animators. Unless you really do have a fairy godmother, you’re not likely to find something quite so magical — at least not unless you’re prepared to spend a small fortune. Then there’s the whole matter of your own body image — which may have a few bruises from years of unfair comparison to ridiculous synthetic standards, from Barbi to Baywatch. No wedding gown is going to make you six inches taller or shrink your waist to half the size of your hips. The right gown, however, can mask flaws and play up your assets. Be realistic. Be practical. And be kind to yourself. You’re a beautiful woman. (Just ask your groom, he’ll tell you.) And you’re going to look fabulous.

Listen to everyone’s advice (yes, even your mother’s and future mother-in-law’s), but don’t pick a dress just to please them.
They mean well. And they may in fact have fairly objective opinions on the look that flatters you most…but probably not. Your mom loves you dearly, and deep down she thinks you look best in knee socks and pigtails. Your future mother-in-law is probably still getting to know you. She may be more in touch with the woman she hopes you will be than the woman you are. You know your own style best. Do you want your wedding day look to reflect that? Or is this the moment when you want to reveal a different side of yourself? The decision is yours. Let everyone get their two cents in. Smile appreciatively, thank them for the great ideas. Then pick the dress you want. Whatever the price tag, no dress is a bigger waste of money than a dress that you don’t really love.

Start immediately. Look far and wide. Save pictures. Come up with a strategic shopping plan. Stick to it.

The sooner you start dress shopping, the better. Look at lots of dresses. Print out the pictures of the dresses you like most. Use our Local Resources directory to find salons in your area. Call them to find out which carry the specific gowns or designers you favor. Then formulate a strategic shopping plan: schedule a visit to two or three salons at most per day, one day each weekend for a month. (Don’t overschedule or you’ll become tired and nothing will feel right.) You know the old admonition that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince? Well, try on lots of frogs. Not having much luck? Try on at least one dress each weekend that is nothing at all like what you expect to end up with; you may be surprised.

Even if you think you have found the perfect dress in the very first salon you visit, stick to your plan. If the salon pushes you to commit to a dress, don’t be swayed. (Go ahead, tell them about your strategic shopping plan — it will make them realize you are not a pushover and that they’ll have to work extra hard to get your dollars.)

There will be lots of very beautiful dresses, but you’re looking for the one. This is your time to search far and wide and know exactly what is out there. You were smart enough not to marry the first boy who kissed you. Don’t marry in the first dress you try on.

Find your best shopping ally.
Maybe you already know who she is. Maybe she’s a he. (Sorry, whoever she or he is, it isn’t your groom. It probably also isn’t your mother or your sister.) This person is the friend who:

• has known you at least three years
• has great taste (preferably different than your own!)
• has seen you in your pajamas, your grungiest sweats, your typical workday outfit, and formalwear
• understands your wedding style and budget
• doesn’t mind a month of watching you try on wedding dresses
• is polite but firm with salespeople
• has purchased an article of clothing for you as a gift in the last six months that you absolutely love.

Tell this friend that instead of getting you a wedding gift, you’d like to ask him or her to be your shopping ally, accompanying you on as many of the steps in the shopping plan as possible. Note to friend asked to be shopping ally: say yes. She’ll love you forever for it.

Sleep on it. Twice. Then get your order in as quickly as possible.
When you find “the one,” sleep on it. Try it on again not less than 48 hours later. If you were alone the first time, take your shopping ally with you. If your shopping ally was with you the first time, try it on alone this time. Sleep on it another night. Still love it? Get your order in. The dress you try on in the store is not the one you will take home with you. Your dress has to be made. Any order to be filled in less than six months is, believe it or not, considered a rush job, and that means extra costs.

Consult the manufacturers sizing chart and order your true size.
The sample you try on in the store may not be your exact size. In fact, it may not even be its own exact size! Consider that the sample dress has been tried on by dozens of other brides, at the very least. The dress could be stretched out. Determine your size based on the manufacturers sizing chart. The bridal salon should have that information available for you. Be realistic about those ten pounds you think you’re going to lose. And don’t be talked into ordering a size too big, unless you expect to…well, expand. A less reputable salon might try to get you to order a size too big so they can then charge you for alterations to make the dress fit. Don’t fall for it.

Don’t forget to consider “hidden” costs.
If you’ve budgeted $750 for the bride’s wedding attire, consider that the gown alone isn’t your only bridal attire cost. There are the obvious additional costs — shoes, stockings, lingerie (possibly including a crinoline or slip), headpiece and/or veil, jewelry, possibly gloves and a bridal purse — as well as costs associated with the gown itself: alterations, pressing or perhaps cleaning, etc. Depending on the price tag of your dress, you could easily spend that much again on all the other pieces! Don’t let any cost sneak up on you.

Know your rights as a consumer.
Most bridal boutiques are highly reputable establishments whose employees are genuinely knowledgeable and helpful. Alas, there are some exceptions. Some bridal salons remove the manufacturers tags from the sample dresses, in an effort to keep you from identifying the maker and style. (It’s a transparent attempt to prevent you from being able identify and then seek out a better price on the gown.) Removal of tags indicating the manufacturer, fiber content, and place of manufacture is a violation of Federal law. You have a right to that information, and if a salon won’t provide it, you are well within your rights in confronting them about their policy. If they are still uncooperative, tell them you are taking your business elsewhere.

Get it in writing.
All of it. Every detail. From the fabric used to the number of buttons down the back of the dress. And the estimated costs for alterations, if you are having them done at the same place where you purchase the dress. Think of it like buying a car. (Yes, a wedding dress costs much less than a car, but you drive a car for more than one day.) When you buy a new car, every detail is itemized — power windows, CD player, what kind of speakers. Better to have too many details than not enough. If someone tries to slip a poor imitation of your dress by you, you’ll have the facts to back up your claim of fraud.

If possible, use a credit card for the deposit on your dress… and the balance when you pick it up.
Federal law and in some cases credit card policy provide you with certain protections. It isn’t a 100% guarantee against problems, but at least you’ll have some recourse if you don’t get what you’ve paid for. If for some reason a salon insists on cash or a check, run – don’t walk – out the door and don’t turn back.

Heed the cautionary advice above, but don’t let it daunt you. Shopping for your wedding dress is a memory you’ll treasure. There are thousands of gorgeous gowns out there, and one of them is the perfect gown for you. Armed with solid information, a strategic plan, and some moral support, you too can be a savvy bridal fashion shopper and a beautiful bride.